It was for that reason that he devised a mission for Saul that would require him to head up to the Santa Fe Courthouse and record the family deed on their original one hundred and sixty acres that was already homesteaded and being worked by their aunt and uncle and a pair of strapping cousins that had never strapped on a pistol belt their entire life. It just seemed that Saul would have a better chance of surviving his misspent youth back in Santa Fe than wandering around the Tucson Valley and finding trouble in every shadowy corner.He was relieved to see Saul swing up on the Sorrel's back and light up a cheroot that had a pungent scent of wild cherry and bitter acrid smoke. The girls over at the house of pleasure were all lined up waving "goodbye" to the handsome young cowboy and Sam could see that Saul was embarrassed at the attention but the gleam in his eye showed he was eating it up like a bowl of peaches sitting in their own juice.Sam felt like a weight had been lifted off his. Sexuality is where things got really confusing though. There could be no doubt, I liked girls and, like any teenage boy, thought about almost nothing other than girls and sex constantly. Every once in a while, however, thoughts of other guys would pop up out of nowhere and they were almost as titillating as the thoughts about girls. The ultra-religious society I lived in, relegated any sort of discussion about sexuality to whispered innuendo in dark corners. Any mention of bisexuality or homosexuality would surely have been cause for ostracization or worse. At first, I had dismissed any homosexual thoughts as nothing more than weird random thoughts but, as they continued to pop up, I had to believe I was at least curious about exploring with another guy. Of course, I had no idea how I might go about satisfying this curiosity as there was no one I knew that I would risk revealing my secret to. They would just have to remain random thoughts in my head reserved for masturbatory fantasy.
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